Define Your Style

One of the biggest sources of overwhelm in designing a home is not knowing your style. If you don’t define it clearly, you’ll feel pulled in a hundred directions - every Pinterest board, every showroom sample, every contractor suggestion. But when you define your style, every decision gets easier, and your home feels cohesive, not chaotic.

People ask me all the time, “How do I know if I’m going to love this in 15 years?!” And my answer is always the same: “Make sure you love it now & chances are you will love it in 15 years.” This starts with defining your style. Really giving yourself permission to choose what makes your heart sing. The things that you love the most. 

Release the pressure that there is a “right” answer.  

First - let’s talk about some common style struggles. Then, we’re going to look at some practical ways to help you identify your style. 

COMMON STYLE STRUGGLES

Loving too many looks. [I relate to this one!] It can lead to paralysis. If everything is cool, which way should you turn?

Following trends. Instead of truly identifying what you will love long term - you let Pinterest, Instagram, and this year’s “Color of the Year” tell you what to do. 

Worrying about resale. This often results in one “safe” choice after another - creating a space with “no soul”.

Fear of being “too trendy”. Yes - I know I just told you not to follow the trends. Except if there is something that you love. Mixing in some current trends is totally fine. Sometimes fear of being trendy can lead to regret later. No decisions being made in fear here - only joy and confidence.

Conflict with spouse’s preferences. This can create tension and sometimes we get stuck in a “me against you” spiral.

Knowing what you don’t like, but not what you do like. Why does it feel easier to identify what we don’t like, than what we do? Perhaps that feeling that there is a “right” answer is tied with this one! This can lead to a lack of clarity.

Okay - we get it already, there are a lot of common style struggles. So, what can we do to identify our style?

PRACTICAL WAYS TO HELP YOU IDENTIFY YOUR STYLE

To shatter the idea that identifying your style has to be difficult and complicated, we need to try on a new mindset. Have you been thinking you don’t know how to define your style? Have you been thinking you don’t have style at all? 

Before we can make any progress on defining your style, we have to say goodbye to that mindset. You do have style. Your style can be bold or quiet. It can be weird or wild or neutral. Your style can be simple or complicated. Your style is simply what you love. Let go of the fear to get it right. You get to decide what your style is, so there is no wrong answer. 

There is no better person to define your style than you. You are the best person to know what you love. Instead of thinking: “I don’t know how to define my style.” Try: “I am the best person to know what I love and enjoy. I might not feel confident yet, but I’m going to practice - and I tend to get better at the things I practice.”

Okay - Let’s make this simple. Defining your style can be as easy as these two steps:

1. Gather inspiration.

2. Identify patterns.

SOME WAYS TO GATHER INSPIRATION

Pinterest: Give yourself a focus and a time limit. For example: I have 10 minutes to look for ideas for the living room. Pin away! Don’t overthink it, just pin things that you like. The following day, or even a few days later, revisit the board. Delete anything that doesn’t feel right.

Favorite spaces: What are your favorite spaces? How do you feel in those places - energized, peaceful, cozy, inspired? What do you love about those places? It could be a bridge you cross on your walk, a favorite room in your home, the sunroom in your friend’s house, a waterfall you visited on vacation, or a hotel you didn’t want to leave.

Closet audit: Look at your clothing. Do you wear neutrals or bold colors? Are your items structured or relaxed? Do you like things with lots of texture, or items that are simple and smooth?

Spouse style swap: Have each partner pick 3-10 photos of spaces you each love. Compare. Discuss differences. Notice overlaps. Find a shared voice. Make it a date night! This is a great practice for a couple who is feeling they have nothing in common when it comes to home preferences. 

What other ways could you find inspiration? Photos, magazines, books from the library… Inspiration can be found everywhere!

As you gather inspiration - pay attention to the patterns. This will help you identify the things you come back to again and again. And just like that - you’ve started practicing identifying your style! Don’t overthink it. And keep practicing!

I recently launched a faith-based interior design membership called FIRM Foundation focused on helping Christian women find peace and joy in their homes. This blog post was inspired by a lesson inside the membership-exclusive course. Inside the course, there is a video lesson describing this process; as well as a printable worksheet with even more ideas for gathering inspiration than are listed here. 

If you’re interested in learning more, you can see what’s included inside the membership HERE.